Monday, September 22, 2008
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
How to Make a Woman Happy
How to Make a Woman Happy (from Kirk Aplin)
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food
Friday, February 1, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Friday, January 25, 2008
Funniest. Shit. EVAR!
Run, do not walk...run and watch *every* one of these videos. If you aren't peeing yourself laughing at some point, you're not human...
Click here to read more "Funniest. Shit. EVAR!"
Click here to read more "Funniest. Shit. EVAR!"
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
The Men's Shoe as Phallic Symbol
I'll take a hundred pair...I don't care what color...
Click here to read more "The Men's Shoe as Phallic Symbol"
Click here to read more "The Men's Shoe as Phallic Symbol"
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Thursday, December 6, 2007
We're All Gonna Die, Merry Christmas
Funniest Christmas video *EVER*. What kind of a demented bastard has a Children's' Choir singing, "We're All going to Die Alone" as a *Christmas* song!? :)
Click here to see the video for "We're All Gonna Die, Merry Christmas"
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Why Bad Kissers don't get to 2nd Base
"Gallup's research suggests that men and women have different agendas when it comes to kissing.
For men, kissing is more often used as a means to an end -- namely, to gain sexual access. Men also are more likely to literally kiss and make up, using kissing to attempt reconciliation.
Men are more willing than women to have sex with someone without kissing, as well as to have sex with someone they are not attracted to or consider to be a bad kisser."
WTF!? Where can I get some of this grant money to study the blindingly fucking obvious!?
Click here to read more "Why Bad Kissers don't get to 2nd Base"
For men, kissing is more often used as a means to an end -- namely, to gain sexual access. Men also are more likely to literally kiss and make up, using kissing to attempt reconciliation.
Men are more willing than women to have sex with someone without kissing, as well as to have sex with someone they are not attracted to or consider to be a bad kisser."
WTF!? Where can I get some of this grant money to study the blindingly fucking obvious!?
Click here to read more "Why Bad Kissers don't get to 2nd Base"
I’ve Been Deprived, and I’m Grateful
I, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have been deprived of the greatest Christmas tradition known to man: I have never had a real Christmas tree.
I’ve missed out on the quaint custom of bundling up on a bright, snowy morning and trundling into the Currier & Ives tree farm to pick out the perfect evergreen. I’ve missed out on seeing our family car merrily ferrying our prickly prize to its rightful home. I’ve never had the pleasure of fresh pine scent or seen the glisten of hardening sap upon bushy branches. I’ve never needed a cheery tree skirt, or known the satisfaction of observing a tree we practically built from the ground up, painstakingly-selected and tailor-made for the corner of our den.
I’ve never had the thrill of watering a dead tree indoors as it dries pitifully in artificial heating for however many days of Christmas we may celebrate. I’ve missed out on having to sweep dried pine needles off every surface within a square acre of the evergreen epicenter. I’ve never had the joy of stepping on an upright needle in bare feet. I haven’t had the privilege of scrubbing my hands raw after decorating the tree, due to accumulation of sticky sap on anything tree-related. I haven’t gone to bed worried the tree will go up in a blaze thanks to a heater accidentally set a too high and near, or lights left on too long. And when Christmas is done, I haven’t had to think of a creative way to dispose of an enormous pile of compost that, if left somewhere on the property, will remain a visible tree-shaped lump for months to come.
Yes, I’m a faux tree girl.
Click here to read more "I’ve Been Deprived, and I’m Grateful"
I’ve missed out on the quaint custom of bundling up on a bright, snowy morning and trundling into the Currier & Ives tree farm to pick out the perfect evergreen. I’ve missed out on seeing our family car merrily ferrying our prickly prize to its rightful home. I’ve never had the pleasure of fresh pine scent or seen the glisten of hardening sap upon bushy branches. I’ve never needed a cheery tree skirt, or known the satisfaction of observing a tree we practically built from the ground up, painstakingly-selected and tailor-made for the corner of our den.
I’ve never had the thrill of watering a dead tree indoors as it dries pitifully in artificial heating for however many days of Christmas we may celebrate. I’ve missed out on having to sweep dried pine needles off every surface within a square acre of the evergreen epicenter. I’ve never had the joy of stepping on an upright needle in bare feet. I haven’t had the privilege of scrubbing my hands raw after decorating the tree, due to accumulation of sticky sap on anything tree-related. I haven’t gone to bed worried the tree will go up in a blaze thanks to a heater accidentally set a too high and near, or lights left on too long. And when Christmas is done, I haven’t had to think of a creative way to dispose of an enormous pile of compost that, if left somewhere on the property, will remain a visible tree-shaped lump for months to come.
Yes, I’m a faux tree girl.
Click here to read more "I’ve Been Deprived, and I’m Grateful"
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Who *should* You Vote for?
"Glassbooth connects you to the presidential candidate that represents your beliefs the best."
You might be surprised who it recommends you vote for.
Click here to read more "Who *should* You Vote for?"
You might be surprised who it recommends you vote for.
Click here to read more "Who *should* You Vote for?"
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Turkey Day Trash Talk
Oh. My. God....watching the Macy's "Parade" for the 1st time. Why isn't there rioting in the streets of America over this?
I've never seen a more crassly commercialized spectacle in my life...
Turkey Day Trash Talk
I've never seen a more crassly commercialized spectacle in my life...
Turkey Day Trash Talk
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