How many 5 Year Olds could You take in a Fight?

28

Want to be a x-ray technician?

The Kingdom Opening Credits

Possibly the most "informative" Opening Credit sequence ever:

How To Spot a Cylon

The Men's Shoe as Phallic Symbol

I'll take a hundred pair...I don't care what color...

Click here to read more "The Men's Shoe as Phallic Symbol"

Damn...Only 6%? :(

We're All Gonna Die, Merry Christmas

Funniest Christmas video *EVER*. What kind of a demented bastard has a Children's' Choir singing, "We're All going to Die Alone" as a *Christmas* song!? :)

Click here to see the video for "We're All Gonna Die, Merry Christmas"

Why Bad Kissers don't get to 2nd Base

"Gallup's research suggests that men and women have different agendas when it comes to kissing.

For men, kissing is more often used as a means to an end -- namely, to gain sexual access. Men also are more likely to literally kiss and make up, using kissing to attempt reconciliation.

Men are more willing than women to have sex with someone without kissing, as well as to have sex with someone they are not attracted to or consider to be a bad kisser."

WTF!? Where can I get some of this grant money to study the blindingly fucking obvious!?

Click here to read more "Why Bad Kissers don't get to 2nd Base"

I’ve Been Deprived, and I’m Grateful

I, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, have been deprived of the greatest Christmas tradition known to man: I have never had a real Christmas tree.

I’ve missed out on the quaint custom of bundling up on a bright, snowy morning and trundling into the Currier & Ives tree farm to pick out the perfect evergreen. I’ve missed out on seeing our family car merrily ferrying our prickly prize to its rightful home. I’ve never had the pleasure of fresh pine scent or seen the glisten of hardening sap upon bushy branches. I’ve never needed a cheery tree skirt, or known the satisfaction of observing a tree we practically built from the ground up, painstakingly-selected and tailor-made for the corner of our den.

I’ve never had the thrill of watering a dead tree indoors as it dries pitifully in artificial heating for however many days of Christmas we may celebrate. I’ve missed out on having to sweep dried pine needles off every surface within a square acre of the evergreen epicenter. I’ve never had the joy of stepping on an upright needle in bare feet. I haven’t had the privilege of scrubbing my hands raw after decorating the tree, due to accumulation of sticky sap on anything tree-related. I haven’t gone to bed worried the tree will go up in a blaze thanks to a heater accidentally set a too high and near, or lights left on too long. And when Christmas is done, I haven’t had to think of a creative way to dispose of an enormous pile of compost that, if left somewhere on the property, will remain a visible tree-shaped lump for months to come.

Yes, I’m a faux tree girl.

Click here to read more "I’ve Been Deprived, and I’m Grateful"

Who *should* You Vote for?

"Glassbooth connects you to the presidential candidate that represents your beliefs the best."

You might be surprised who it recommends you vote for.

Click here to read more "Who *should* You Vote for?"

Turkey Day Trash Talk

Oh. My. God....watching the Macy's "Parade" for the 1st time. Why isn't there rioting in the streets of America over this?

I've never seen a more crassly commercialized spectacle in my life...

Turkey Day Trash Talk

Why Men Put Beer On The Bottom Shelf

Thanks for the Warning...

Best. Thanksgiving. Sitcom. Scene. Ever.

"Whatever it is, it's winning..."

WTF?

(Shawn's Comment: Thanks to Dr Paul for the link!)

How well do You know the World?

In this geography game, click as close to the prompted location as you can, but remember, speed counts!

How well do You know the World?

Not The Daily Show

Wow...Who Knew?

The most Pleasant "Fuck Off" you'll Hear all Day...

We make balms for the better enjoyment of parenthood

Halloween Prank Gone Wrong

Funny Safety Announcements on Southwest

For whatever reason, Southwest allows its flight attendants to have fun with the pre-flight saftey announcements...

How to hypnotize a man

Jesus...it actually works!

Click here to read more "How to hypnotize a man"

Trash Talk for October 17th, 2007!

Latest episode of Trash Talk!

Trash Talk for October 17th, 2007!

URL's for Oct 17th, 2007

Aaron Adams’s Lame-ass Blog

Alabama Sex Toy Law - No Vibrators Allowed

UK Typhoons shadow Russian bomber

Rolling Stones to quit touring after 45 years

New Charges Considered in 1966 Shooting

Saved by his earpiece, the police inspector who had sex on duty

The greatest philosopher of our time.

Man Embarassed by Penis Size Secretly Gets His Brother to Have Sex With Girlfriend

Things I Learned From Movies

Quotable

Dumb But Profitable. 10 Million Dollar Ideas That Shouldn't Have Worked.

Trash Talk Live!

Audio Only TrashTalk

Watch the Video Feed here

Express Yourself LIVE

Blue Angel Fly-By

Sounds like Sly in an NYC Cab

http://view.break.com/381553 - Watch more free videos

U.S. Citizenship Test: Could You Pass?

If you were born in the United States, you didn't have to do anything to become a citizen. But each year, thousands of people have to take a test to gain citizenship. Recently the exam was updated to include a more diverse group of contributors to American history and more recent historical events. This quiz includes actual questions asked on the exam given by the Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services, including some of the new ones.

Click here to read more "U.S. Citizenship Test: Could You Pass?"

Best Halo 3 Review. EVER.

The Manliest, Most Honest Commercial Ever Made

"And remember...we dont football sex bowling, until you pizza."

Another Chick Tries Cinnamon Challenge

Another Chick Tries Cinnamon Challenge - Watch more free videos
This video brings up *so* many questions....
Why are people so stupid?
Why are hot girls stupid?
Why do hot girls date jerks?
Why are guys such jerks?

Monkey Balls (NSFW!)

Right Brain or Left Brain?

Do you see the dancer turning clockwise or anti-clockwise?
Click here to read more "Right Brain or Left Brain?"

OK..this ain't right....

THe Importance of Fonts and Kerning...

"Show Them to Me"

"If you love your country, Show me! (Thanks Sly!)

"Show Them to Me"

Brilliant Billboards

Click here to read more "Brilliant Billboards"

This Ain't Right...

The Pussy Snorkel

Hmmm...wonder what this perfume smells like...

Trash Talk for September 12th, 2007!

Latest episode of Trash Talk!

Trash Talk for September 12th, 2007!

URL's for Sept 12th, 2007

Woman at large with hubby's severed penis

One in four women would bed another woman

Voice-stress ice-cream dispenser increases portions for the miserable

Wearing Texas T-shirt nearly got man castrated

Woman charged in death of husband during sex

Leona's dog gets her paws on $12M in will

Airline sacrifices goats to appease sky god

Pants found on street with $41,000 check

Top 50 Oxymorons

The Richest (and Poorest) Places in the U.S.

The 100 Best TV Shows of All-TIME

Xbox and PlayStation Banned In UK Prisons

Oscar Sleepers

Heads Roll for the Last Time in France

Leave Britney Alone!

Sweet. Mother. of. God

Engrish of the Day

World Facial Hair Championships

Click here to read more "World Facial Hair Championships"

Help Desk Warning Sign

Alen vs Predator: Requiem

This movie is probably gonna suck but this "Red Band" Trailer (a trailer that is rated R) looks good and gory.

Click here to read more "Alen vs Predator: Requiem"

"The Latino 300"

"Tonight...we dine....in San Diego!"

URL's for Trash Talk for August 22nd, 2007

Latest episode of Trash Talk!

TrashTalk for August 22nd, 2007

Moan My IP

Arlington Pediatric Center

Cops ask for guns, get what they thought was missle launcher

Bank Robber Left His Resume, Photo At Scene

Pet camel kills Australian woman

Bears eat man at beer festival

Murray in hot water over Stockholm cart ride

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/SummerSizzle/story?id=3505928

One in Four Read No Books Last Year

Forensics Expert Fired Over DNA Test

2007 US Open

W.Va. University Tops Party School List

White Youths Happier Than Others

Iraq War Brings Drop in Black Enlistees

Shoplifter makes topless escape bid

Rudd apology for strip club visit

Priest Joke

Nightclubs are Hell

(From Thomas)

I went to a fashionable London nightclub on Saturday. Not the sort of sentence I get to write very often, because I enjoy nightclubs less than I enjoy eating wool.

Why bother with clubs?

"Because you might get a shag," is the usual response. Really? If that's the only way you can find a partner - preening and jigging about like a desperate animal - you shouldn't be attempting to breed in the first place. What's your next trick? Inventing fire? People like you are going to spin civilisation into reverse. You're a moron, and so is that haircut you're trying to impress. Any offspring you eventually blast out should be drowned in a pan before they can do any harm. Or open any more nightclubs.

Click here to read more "Nightclubs are Hell"

The Difference between Men & Women...

Highway to Hell?

(Shawn's Comment: Thanks Scott!)

Say, has the butler cleaned the trout yet?

(Shawn's Comment: This is the only way I'll ever go camping...)

The Resort at Paws Up, a 37,000-acre getaway in the heart of Big Sky country. It's a place for affluent travelers who want to enjoy the outdoors but can't fathom using a smelly outhouse, a place where paying someone to light the campfire is a badge of honor, not the mark of a Boy Scout flunky.

The Bondicks, who live in a sprawling home on the edge of a state park outside Boston and hire a personal chef at home, shelled out $595 a night -- plus an additional $110 per person per day for food.

It's a hefty price to sleep in a tent, but the perks include a camp butler to build their fire, a maid to crank up the heated down comforter at nightfall and a cook to whip up bison rib-eye for dinner and French toast topped with huckleberries for breakfast.

Click here to read more "Say, has the butler cleaned the trout yet?"

Amazon Predictive Marketing gone Bad

Low, Lower & Lowest!

http://view.break.com/350055 - Watch more free videos
I want to go to St Maarten just to see this!

A Cat's Map of the Bed

Sofa King Cheap!

TrashTalk for August 15th, 2007

Latest episode of Trash Talk!

TrashTalk for August 15th, 2007

URL's for TT

Papadakis Photography

Bernese Mountain Dogs

Chicago Architectural & Historical Tours

Man, 18, shoots friend on a dare


World's most expensive cities


Will No Cage Hold Him? Monkey Again Escapes Zoo

Vigil to mark Elvis anniversary

The 50 Hottest Women In Music

Online Love for Out and Proud Geeks

Breast Implants Prize May Fall Flat

Straight from the celeb's mouth

Top 20 Movies about Computer Hacking And Geeks

Husband Pulls Over His Deputy Wife Twice

Woman Calls Police About 'Fake' Cocaine

U.S. life expectancy lags behind other countries

9 Words Women Use

100 reasons why it's great to be a girl

The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy

Married Man Sues Florist for Revealing Affair

Click here to read more "One more reason that it's better to be a woman than a man!"

Colorful Glass Art by Dale Chihuly

*Big* fan of Chihuly!

"My Boobs Are OK"

"OK" isn't the word I'd use.....There's even a live version....

Funny Vancouver Sign

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Your Linguistic Profile:

60% General American English 25% Yankee 5% Midwestern 5% Upper Midwestern 0% Dixie

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

The 15 Best Songs that are Totally about Masturbation

Prostitution may be the oldest profession, but masturbation is the oldest pastime. And while there are many memorable cinematic masturbation scenes—a quick polling of CRACKED deskies produced titles like Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Porky's and American Beauty—only CRACKED intern Ryan Grim could come up with a single song on the topic, and he was masturbating when we asked him. In other words, the Internet could use a definitive list of songs that are totally about masturbating.

Click here to read more "The 15 Best Songs that are Totally about Masturbation"

MInd Reading...

My iTunes

TrashTalk for August 9th, 2007

Loren and Brian sat in on this episode of Trash Talk!

TrashTalk for August 9th, 2007

AT&T: Your World Censored

(Thanks to Michael Wright for the heads up)

Over the weekend AT&T gave us a glimpse of their plans for the Web when they censored a Pearl Jam performance that didn't meet their standard of "Internet freedom."

During the live Lollapalooza Webcast of a concert by the Seattle-based super-group, the telco giant muted lead singer Eddie Vedder just as he launched into a lyric against President George Bush. The lines -- "George Bush, leave this world alone" and "George Bush find yourself another home" were somehow lost in the mix.

"What happened to us this weekend was a wake up call, and it's about something much bigger than the censorship of a rock band," Pearl Jam band members stated in a release following the incident.

AT&T's vision of a better Internet -- "Your World Delivered" -- is not one that is shared by the more than 1.5 million people who have spoken out in favor of a neutral, affordable and accessible Internet for everyone. For us, the Internet isn't about one company delivering our world. It's about simply offering a real high-speed connection at reasonable rates -- and then getting out of our way.

Click here to read more "AT&T: Your World Censored"

This Film is not yet Rated

Ever been curious about the American film rating system? Then Kirby Dick's This Film Is Not Yet Rated is perfect. It does to US censorship what Michael Moore has done to others: it makes everyone look like jackasses, mainly because that's what they really are.

Statetris - Tetris With a Twist

Men Happiest With Smart Wives

"Men in search of true happiness should steer clear of bimbos and dumb blondes: research shows men are happiest if they marry smart women."

(Shawn's Comment: And that's why I'm the happiest man on earth! OK...do I get brownie points?)

Click here to read more "Men Happiest With Smart Wives"

Get Smart Teaser Movie Trailer

Is it wrong that I *so* want to see this movie?

Get Smart Teaser Movie Trailer

True Meaning of "Teaser Trailer"

World Wife-Carrying Championship

They're kidding....right?

Flickr Pics

Created with flickrSLiDR.

100 Days that Changed Music

Subtract the following 2,400 hours from history and you’d have no mp3s, no LSD, no hip–hop, no soul–sucking corporate rock - actually, can we erase that last one? Blender presents the most earth–shakingly important days in music, ever.

Click here to read more "100 Days that Changed Music"

How to Speak to a Human Being...

Check this list before you call...

Click here to read more "How to Speak to a Human Being..."

Cadaver Calculater

How much is your dead body worth?
$3475.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth

Video from the iPhone Line!

Lesa and Shawn were #66 in line at the 5th Ave Apple Store.

Coolest Bathtub Ever!

TrashTalk for June 15th, 2007

With Lesa out of town, Aaron Adams sat in on this episode of Trash Talk!

TrashTalk for June 15th, 2007

I *so* Want One of these...

OK...how much would this *Suck*!?

A dozen riders on an Arkansas roller coaster spent half an hour hanging upside down — 150 feet above the ground — after a power outage shut down the attraction.

Click here to read more "Roller Coaster Riders Left Hanging"

The Prediction

This will really impress you if you think it’s about psychology. But if you think of it as a math game, it makes perfect sense!

"Find X"

Dear Dad with a Doo Rag and Mother with a Halter Top and a Belly Piercing

You may or may not recognize me: I was present at the same screening of Hostel: Part II that you and your family attended last night. I send you this letter in the hopes that you will forward it to all those who share a similar parenting style as you, in the hopes that my request be heard by as many pairs of ears as humanly possible.

The suggestion is this:

Stop bringing your fucking kids to horror movies.

Click here to read more "Dear Dad with a Doo Rag and Mother with a Halter Top and a Belly Piercing"

Lingerie that is a Masterpiece of Minimalism

I say this *as* a parent

"...from what I've seen, most of you could be replaced with a small shell script, or perhaps a balloon animal, much less an actual human." - John Welch

Could this Woman be any *Lazier*!?

I'll admit it - I'm lazy but even I'm not *this* lazy....

Click here to read more "Could this Woman be any *Lazier*!?"

Towel Day

Pepsi Ice - Cucumber!?

Pepsi is planning to release a special Ice Cucumber-flavored drink in Japan this summer.

(Shawn's Comment: Now - I love cucumbers but...)

Click here to read more "Pepsi Ice - Cucumber!?"

Spoilt: a T-Shirt for Sadists

Created with Paul's flickrSLiDR.

"I Met Megadeth!"

Lesa meets her own Guitar Hero, Dave Mustaine.

Needles to say, she was a *little* excited.

If Women Ruled the World

Dumb Ass of the Week!

A German man's attempt to take his driving test while drunk came to an abrupt end when his examiner directed him to a police station.

(Thanks to Larry Weinberg for the story)

Click here to read more "Drunk German fails driving test"

State Forces McGuire’s to Remove Joke Restroom Signs

DESTIN — Like the dollar bills hanging from the ceiling or the signature drink the Irish Wake, the craftily worded signs on the bathroom doors are part of the charm of McGuires’s Irish Pub.

It takes some careful attention to the fine print to end up in right bathroom, but it’s all in good fun, said General Manager Billy Martin.

“We’re not trying to be malicious,” Martin said. “It’s an Irish joke kind of thing.”

For those who haven’t seen them, the gist is the men’s room sign has large print that reads “Ladies” and smaller text clarifying they shouldn’t go in there because it’s the men’s room — vice-versa for the other bathroom.

Click here to read more "State Forces McGuire’s to Remove Joke Restroom Signs"

*Worst* Idea Ever...

Falwell in Hell

This could be *really* good...

Hey! I went to the same Mechanics Class as Her!

Lesa Drags Shawn to a Heavy Metal Concert

Latest episode is downloadable here:
TrashTalk for May 16, 2007

And you can subscribe to the new Trash Talk iTunes feed here.

Sweet and Dirty Shirts for Women

Sweet and Dirty Shirts for Women

What would You look like if You were Black?

....or White? or Old? Or the subject of a Botticelli?

The good folks at the University of St. Andrews Perception Lab have come up with a way to make your dreams reality. Sort of.

Click here to read more "What would You look like if You were Black?"

Very Cool Illusion

If your eyes follow the movement of the rotating pink dot, you will only see one color, pink. If you stare at the black + in the center, the moving dot turns to green. Now, concentrate on the black + in the center of the picture.

Click here to read more "Very Cool Illusion"

Umm....Don't Do This....

See Thru Skirts!

Not really. According to the web site, they are "...actually prints on the skirts to make it look as if the panties are visible and these are the current rage in Japan."

WTF!? WHY!?